Major Adjustment

Look at that face! Love it!

 I guess I underestimated the amount of adjusting that I would have to do with a new baby. I had forgotten just about everything that I had done with Ella. I feel just about like a brand new mommy. Today is my first day alone on the job. Mom is back in California and Whit went back to work today. Today is one of my better days. I got a few hours of sleep last night and I woke up in a pretty good mood. The last three weeks have been a struggle though...

 I didn't sleep a wink during the two nights that I spent at the hospital. I remember that it was the same way with Ella so I didn't worry about it. All that adrenaline and excitement combined with nurse interruptions makes it so difficult to get any sleep. When I arrived home with Ashton I thought that I wouldn't have any trouble sleeping. Ashton did very well. He fell asleep sometime before 10. I laid down to get some sleep and that's when my troubles began. I couldn't sleep. My mind was on overdrive. I was anxious and jittery. I felt like I had had too much caffeine. Sometime around 1 am I broke down and took a Benadryl. I slept for maybe two hours, but it was restless. The same thing kept happening every night. I was exhausted and Ashton was sleeping decently, but I just couldn't fall asleep. I finally called my midwife group four days later. Ann, the midwife who delivered Ashton, was worried about me. She prescribed Zoloft for me and referred me to a post partum therapist. After talking with my mom I decided to hold off on the Zoloft and give myself more time to get back to normal.

 I'm glad that I decided to wait things out instead of taking the Zoloft. I'm feeling a lot better. For the past two nights I've been able to fall asleep fairly easily and I haven't had much anxiety at all. I've joined a new mommy group and, after talking to a few moms who also had the same problem with anxiety and insomnia, I've discovered that it could potentially take a month for the anxiety and sleep to improve drastically. So, the little bit of improvement that I've had is good. Some of the things that have helped me are: The New Mommy Group - they meet once a week right in the neighborhood. It's so great to know that others are going through tough times and that things will get better. Getting back to a routine - Taking Ella to school, picking her up, and trying to stick to as normal a routine as possible. Going outside in the sun - as weird as it sounds being able to spend some time outside each day is amazing. Showering - Yup, showering, blowdrying, and putting on makeup makes a world of difference. A drink - having something with dinner. A beer or glass of wine makes all the difference.

It's hard to believe that Ashton is already 3 weeks old! Although that's not a lot of time in the big picture, it seems like only yesterday Whit and I were on our way to the hospital to meet him.

 I'm changing the name of my blog to Mr. Baby. Mainly because that's what we occasionally call Ashton, Ella thinks it's funny, and any blog posts that I write from here on out will probably be about him. The blog address will stay the same because, apparently, Mr. Baby is a pretty popular blog address and is unavailable for use.

Christmas Gifts?

Today we received two "gifts" for Christmas. Ella had her first food challenge this morning. During Ella's recent allergy skin tests, the doctor felt that she would be a good candidate for food challenges in dairy and egg. Essentially, the doctor will administer larger and larger doses of the allergic food under his watch. Today's challenge was dairy. She will have her egg in a few weeks. Dairy has been a tough food to avoid. It's in so many things. Based on today's challenge, she is no longer considered allergic to dairy! So, she is now able to drink regular milk, eat cheese, yogurt, ice cream, frosting, etc. I think that I'm more excited than she is. It's just been such a hassle to tell people that she's allergic to dairy. For some reason people don't really have a grasp of what dairy is. Like even though we tell them, they'll still offer her milk. What do people think dairy is? Only cheese?

Our second "gift"...a foot of snow overnight! I'm actually joking about this being a gift. It's the most snow that I've experienced since living here as an adult. I wouldn't have minded this snow, but I had to drive to the north end of Denver this morning for Ella's food challenge. I've kind of learned the flat routes to Denver, so I really don't worry too much about driving through Denver. I'm amazed at what the plows are able to do. They use crazy deicer that will melt ice and snow away pretty well. No, no, no, that doesn't bother me. Our biggest problem is getting out of our neighborhood. Mainly getting up our street. We're the second house down! They do not plow side streets. They just don't do it. I've figured out that if I go down the street and around to the next street, I can build up my momentum enough to crawl up to the flatter "exit" street. Well, this tactic didn't work this morning. Try to imagine a compact car trying to drive up an unplowed street with a foot of snow. I almost made it, but my car got stuck.

Whit ran over from our street to help me push. We rocked the car and pushed, rocked and pushed, for like 20 minutes. Finally a man came out of his house and helped us. Boy were my wheels spinning. Once we were able to get up to the flatter street, we were able to make it to the main road - which was plowed. We successfully made it to Ella's appointment. We were just a tad bit late.

We've had a good amount of snow so far in Denver this year. It's actually a good thing because last year we didn't have very much and it was very dry. Last year we had 22 inches total all year (that works out to only about 2 inches of water/rain). This year we've already had 34 inches and winter just started. Jan and Feb are usually snowier than December. So, even though driving in it is not fun, it's actually a good thing. Truly I wouldn't mind the snow at all if we lived in a flatter neighborhood. Stupid hills!


A view of our backyard from the porch. That's a birdbath in case you were wondering. That little dot pointing out of the snow is the top of a plant in our back garden bed.



This is the backyard from the porch looking slightly to the side.



This is taken from our front porch of our unplowed street. "Where's the street?" Just to be very clear, those are not our reindeer, they are our neighbor's. Ella used to like them until she realized that they don't actually light up.

Holiday Tea

It seems as though this is becoming an annual tradition for Ella and I. The Doll Holiday Tea. The tea is at an old hotel in downtown and after the girls fill up on "food" (Ella's tea lunch consisted of a cupcake, frosted cookies, a chocolate covered strawberry, and a hot cocoa with three scoops of marshmallows), ballerinas come out and dance for them. I managed to get a few pics of Ella in the decorated lobby.


Ella and I in front of the fireplace. She decided to bring her American Girl to the tea. Contrary to how it looks, I did brush her doll's hair out before the tea!



One of Ella's preschool buddies and her little sister.



All of the girls with the ballerinas. Can you see Ella?




This definitely put us in the holiday spirit. The 6 inches of snow that fell yesterday also contributed a wee bit. Gotta love winter in Denver. By the way, Whit is in New Orleans until Wednesday. My only request was that he bring some fresh beignets home with him. Again with the food!

Too Many Restrictions

Being pregnant has forced me to give up one of the things that I admittedly love...wine. I haven't had a drink since my pregnancy test (although I did have two very large mojitos right before taking the test). It's been tough. Although Whit has great sympathy and respect for the fact that I can't drink, that doesn't stop him from enjoying a drink/s (and I wouldn't dream of asking him to abstain). The lack of my normal vice has forced me to look at food in a new way. I've already mentioned some of the eating that I've been doing. Although I haven't been eating the quantity that I was eating early on, I have still been eagerly enjoying whatever food that I don't have an aversion to.

One of the frustrating things that I've found is that there are a lot of restrictions placed on what pregnant women can't eat. Sushi and different kinds of cheeses are a "no no." I do enjoy sushi every now and again and I love blue cheese and brie (both of which are off limits). Another restriction...deli meat! I don't think that I abstained from that when I was pregnant with Ella. I've stuck to it with this pregnancy and I get pretty mad about it. Deli sandwiches sound amazing to me right now! I would love a turkey and swiss or a really large Italian combo. Just writing about it makes me crave it. Pregnant women also aren't supposed to eat at a salad bar. Well, I put my foot down with that one. I can't drink, I can't eat deli, I can't have good cheese, I'M EATING THE SALAD BAR! We went out to dinner tonight and I had the salad bar before dinner. It was so good! Of course I drowned my salad with ranch, but it was so delicious! Is that so wrong?!

Sometimes I wonder if all of these restrictions are really necessary. I can understand the drinking, smoking, and doing drug restrictions, but food - come on! That's all a pregnant woman has! Are all these restrictions really necessary? Were pregnant women advised to avoid brie and a salad bar 30 years ago? Did it really make a huge difference (look at how great I turned out). There was a time when drinking wasn't even discouraged. Maybe I'm a bad person, but I'm just not giving up salad bars!

Halloween

Feeling Fat

There is a point in every woman's pregnancy when she goes through what I call the "Fat Phase." When I was pregnant with Ella it began at about 4 1/2 months and lasted until about 5 1/2 months. With this pregnancy it began at about 4 weeks and hasn't let up yet. Basically the "fat phase" is the time in pregnancy when you don't look definitively pregnant yet, but you definitely look like you've been eating too many ice cream bars (Hmmm...). It's kind of like a "can't button my pants because I have an extreme muffin top" phase. Clearly I'm getting tired of this phase, although I'm not sure I am ready for the maternity clothes point in my pregnancy yet.

I've actually been handling this better than with my Ella pregnancy. When I was pregnant with her I would try to suck myself in as I walked passed a good looking guy at the market. Now I just don't care. Sometimes watching commercials is a little bit hard, especially if it includes a supermodel and Whit is watching it with me. Then I feel a little bit inferior, but that's only happened a handful of times.

Again, this is something that Whit has to have a lot of patience with. Like when I'm getting dressed in the morning and I ask Whit if I look fat. This throws him off guard. He doesn't know how to answer. He wonders if I'm trying to trick him or if I really want to know. At first he was telling me, "No, you look great." Now he tells me, "You are starting to show a bit." In other words, "Yes, you look a little bit like you're trying to squeeze into those pants." Poor Whit, I don't think that pregnant Tiff is very easy to deal with. Well, he only has 5 1/2 more months left.

Food Issues

I can't really write about being new to CO anymore. I'm not a newbie anymore. I suppose that I could blog about the beautiful fall colors, but I've written about last year. I need to face the facts...there are newer people to CO than me. I'm moving on with my blog!

I think the only thing that I have lots of material to write about is the thing that's on my mind all day...my impending birth and baby. It's on my mind so much for obvious reasons, but also because I have developed some serious food issues. By the way, as I finished that last sentence, I was also finishing off an ice cream bar. Although, in my defense, it was organic, coconut milk ice cream. Therefore it's okay in my book.

The first food issue that I noticed was pretty early in my pregnancy. Maybe at 8 weeks or so. I was starving. I'm talking gnawing, hunger pangs starving. I would eat something (usually a very large portion) and I'd feel these horribly strong hunger feelings 30 minutes later. I had to eat again just to stave it off! That crazy hunger lasted about 2 weeks. It was awful.

The second food issue that I've had since about the same time is major food aversions and very unhealthy cravings. These haven't gone away at all. Basically anything healthy and wholesome sounds nauseating to me. All I'm craving is processed food, fried food, dessert, and anything else that I would try very hard not to eat under normal circumstances.

Planning the weekly dinner menu is a huge challenge because all of my normal recipes sound truly nauseating to me. Homemade portobello mushroom and bison chili= yuck! Hormel chili= yes! I literally sit for almost an hour and flip through my recipes and find only one that sounds kind of okay. Poor Whit. He's been so patient with me. After I've flipped through the recipes three times, I usually call him over to complain. He patiently make suggestions to me - all of which I quickly shoot down and say, "no way! Yuck!"

Needless to say, I don't remember having these strong aversions when I was pregnant with Ella. I do remember that I couldn't eat eggs or tamales when I was pregnant with her. But that was basically it. Everything else was pretty much okay with me.

Well, hopefully the food aversions will pass soon. But for now it's sloppy Joe's and Bush's baked beans for dinner tonight. At least making dinner is easier now that I am using more canned food.